ms. alexia lustra or leslie if ya know me ;-) (alexia_lustra) wrote,
ms. alexia lustra or leslie if ya know me ;-)
alexia_lustra

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more about me...



http://alexia-lustra.livejournal.com/1691.html

if not you should, its part 1 to this 2 part entry...im gonna use an lj cut on this just in case its too much...and in case your not interested...

age 7 to present...
so back to my moms drinking, one night @ around 1 am she decided to make breakfast, she feel asleep drunk on the couch, and started a fire...

my brother and i woke up to find the kitchen smoking and on fire, and her sleeping naked on the couch...so i had to leave the apartment and spent the remainder of the evening downstairs...thinking my mom was dead...she was ok though...

then that christmas she got so drunk that she actually forgot to wrap our presents and just left them under the tree as is...she apologized and things were cool, she quit drinking...hasnt touched a drop since...

ok so for the next few years things were cool, we moved like 4 time by the time i was 8, but we moved into this really nice duplex. by this point tre was hanging on the block and smoking weed and fucking like a rabbit, so we started growing apart...

@ 12 he got married and had a baby w/ his 1st babies mom...then they moved out west for a while...

i had my first actual lesbian experience right after i turned 12 w/ my next door neighbor, this cute high yellow chick kendra who was a literally a day younger than me...we had watched my brothers porn together and then she licked me...i refused to do it to her cause i was too scared...lmao...@ this time my brothers chris and & teddy also got chicks pregnant, teddy already had a son, and chris had a son and daughter already...to date i have 10 nieces and nephews by birth, and 2 adopted ones...

so we moved shorty after my 12th birthday to this shitty apartment...i liked my school, but i hated the place i lived. anyway, so i started going to the boys club after school and thats where i met julio's little sister, julio was my first older bf, i was 12 and he was 16...this type of stuff happened a lot in worcester...

me and julio dated for a couple of months and then in the spring of my 12th year we broke up and i started dating his cousin (also 16) eddie. eddie and i dated off and on for the next 2 years...and i know a relationship @ 12 is pretty silly but we were serious...

i was still a virgin and he was pretty patient about that, i gave him permission to keep fucking his ex & baby's mom so that helped. he was funny looking & kind of dumb, but i liked dated him cause was important in his little gang and popular. about a year into our relationship he started hitting me...

@ this point he was kind of living w/ me & my mom, she let him stay cause she liked him and he was in a gang so she was worried about him...@ 1st he would hit me over dumb shit, the way i answered him, and the way i dressed. he was a boxer so he said he knew how to hit me the "right" way, usually the back of my neck, my head, and stomach, occasionally in my face but that was usually along the cheek bones...

i excepted it for a while, and then i just got tired of it...i just had to use logic, i was bigger than him in weight and it was getting old, so i started hitting him back, usually biting too...so this one time we were entertaining some friends and i made comment about how his penis was small (he actually had a baby dick, i think like 2 or 3 inches) & he got pissed...

took me in the bathroom & slammed my face into the sink & tub, during the struggle i grabbed a razor off the sink, punched him in the face, and when he was leaning against the wall recovering, i pulled his pants down a bit and dug the razor into the flesh right above his dick...

i told him it was over, that i was going to bed, and that he had half an hour to get out of my house, or i'd cut his shit off... so for the most part that was the end of my contact w/ him...

my mom came home and got upset and started feeling guilty cause she didnt know...we were going to press charges, but it became too much work, and they weren't really advocating for me, so we let it go...all 3 of my brothers wanted to kill him, but he ran away for like a year to cambridge...i think if they saw him today they'd still kill him...

so for the next few years things were cool, i had friendships come and go, that was 1 of the hardest things for me to deal w/, loosing people i saw as friends...

when i was 14 i went to a party w/ a "friend"...it was a decent party, but i didnt know n e 1 and my friend ditched me...i ended up talking to this guy who talked me into coming into a bedroom w/ him...he forced me to give him head...i actually still have nightmares about that...even more than the stuff that my dad did...

b4 my 15th birthday i was going through a mild depression...it was bigger in my mind than in reality, but i tried to kill myself...asprin...it was so dumb...i just got really sick, my mom got off of work and rushed me to the hospital where i had my stomach pumped...

then when i was 16 that summer i met this 14 year old named cynthia, but i generally call her inez...we became fast friends and she became my 1st gf...

i turned her out...i remember i seduced her after i shaved her...we fucked around a lot...i liked her a lot, but she didnt like me like that, she said she couldnt see me like that cause it was a sin...i was like yea umm ok??

so n e way, that spring i met her uncle, he was like 37? and we started dating...craziness...my family found out...by this time i had just turned 17 and i really believed i wanted to be w/ him...i snuck around...and was just basically tripping...in the end i had to choose between him & my fam, so of course i chose them...

for the rest of that year i was pretty damn depressed...until that spring...i had some good friends and i dunno i just came out of it, and thats when i met my 1st/gj435, most of you know who he is...we met on yahoo personals, he was 19, a virgin also, and a pure sweetheart...we dated off & on for a little over a year...i was a really bad gf...he wasnt perfect but usually when i told him something bothered me he tried to change it...me i went off a lot...i lied big time (im a recovering pathological liar)...and cheated, kind of, although he didnt find out about that till it was basically over...

for about another year i had 1 bf, who was really kind of nutz, he went after my best friend, who happened to be his best friends gf, right after we broke up, and later came out as being gay, and then i met warrenbiscayne...he was the 2nd guy i was ever w/...he was 22 when i was 19, and still a virgin...my favorite..

we met on lj, and actually i was after his friend @ 1st, but he cock blocked and saved me from making a mistake...that summer was rocky for us, his dad hated me, and he stopped talking to me for a whole month cause he was stressed...

during this point i got thrown out of my house and was having trouble w/ the friend i was staying w/, i even ended up @ a homeless shelter for a night...

before the month was over i met a guy on the street...we had a 1 night stand...i dont regret it, but if i had to do it over again i wouldn't have...it was meaningless...and i wasnt comfortable...but it was ok sex...

me & warrenbiscayne broke up off and on for the next 2 years...november of 04 i went to lousiana and ended up sleeping w/ his best friend...we did it twice more over the next year...& even though vin & i werent together it was fucked up....

that brings us pretty current...for the last couple of years ive been in & out of love w/ vin, ive lost & made friends...i sadly moved to vegas...which i hate, but im ok...ive grown up a lot...i work now, and ive matured...

n e way...life is a learning experience...and ive learned a lot...still have more to learn...

alexia_lustra
Tags: about me, my life, relationships
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